The Peanut Butter and Jelly Solution

I made you like 17 PB&Js!
-me

Something from Nothing

So, Hopalong and Crowdsurfer may have struck social gold the other day whilst pretending to be a couple, but "only when [Crowdsurfer] has a PBJ in [her] hand". I wasn't there when this joke started, but I caught on, and of course took it to its logical extreme: how do you maintain a relationship with a girl who's only your girlfriend when she's got a sandwich in her hand? I guess you've got to make a lot of sandwiches. Sure, it's not a big deal while you both have to go to school or whatnot, because you're probably not communicating anyway, but what about everything else? You can't be expected to keep churning out the Smuckers-laden hits all day every day, can you?

I thought about this a little more, and realized we're all in this boat anyway. Instead of PBJ, we've got attention. That ever difficult matter of showing people we like them. Some people it seems, feel bad that others are making food for them, even though holding a PBJ is the prerequisite for the relationship. Others gobble the suckers, seemingly emotionally hollow-legged. The sandwich makers range from the grudging, to the sloppy, to the impoverished and harried. I myself am an eager chef, often approaching would-be sandwich holders with my platter bowing with PBJ goodness, only to find a) this scares the crap out of them or b) they're allergic.

Well, that's the whole awful metaphor! Hope you like it!