The Cultural Butter Battle

" 'I'll blow you,' he yelled, 'into pork and wee beans!
I'll butter-side-up you to small smithereens!'"
-Dr. Seuss, The Butter Battle Book

I was delighted to find that Crystal had brought a stack of the children's classics home for our baby today, including The Butter Battle Book. At first, my delight was in that somehow, some way, we might be able to instill in our child's pre-two-month-old brain and understanding of the idiocy that was the Cold War, but upon reading of the heartache of the Yooks and the Zooks, I was much more delighted and scared to realize how applicable the story is to our own society. Indeed, the post-superpower world is not brought to an eternal struggle of Western society vs. radical Islam, but Donkey vs. Elephant. The monopole is becoming bi-polar again, and the butter-side is still the big concern.

The weapons are vast and powerful, but all psychological and political, whether they be the 9/12 project, or, say, the entire career of Nancy Pelosi. Is it any wonder the names of some of these Weapons of Mass Obstruction? All the media psyops and political maneuvering is leading to a possibly dangerous end, and I think that there are some who think this is a viable path for America. This is absolutely ridiculous. Were the Culture Wars to become the Clan Wars, debates on marriage and taxes would become fights over farming implements and water rations.

Think about it--are any of these issues worth moving into Thunderdome for?

Now, I'm not here to offer a magic solution, but I would think that the average American has enough intelligence to find moderate candidates for public office and vote for them. This is moderate--that means, if you're a standard Republican, they're a little to the left of you. If you're a classic Democrat, they're to your right a bit. If enough people voted not for the person that would push their party away from center, but toward it, we might still have a country for a while.